Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, October 1, 2022

Love has 3 parts to it: affection, trust, respect.

Respect is the foundation of love. One can respect someone and not love them. I differ from the philosophy of "you have to earn my respect". I respect everyone by default. People may take actions to lose respect, but it's always there. For instance, I respect the US justice system, regardless of whether I consider the laws just or not. I respect it because there are legitimate and very real consequences for not adhering to it. 

Trust is also default, but its more limited in scope, and it requires going through more doors to unpack. One can trust someone in the small capacity they share, such as in business, one can trust that a colleague will finish their work, but it may not extend past the business paradigm. 

Affection, however is the aspect most associated with our modern understanding of love. Affection comes in many forms, romantic affection, affection from a family member, affection from a friend, or just emotional affection overall. I carry emotional affection for everyone by default, that's the essence of empathy, but it's shown and used sparingly. For me to transcend default affection towards someone requires a strong showing and feeling of respect and trust that motivates me to move forward. 

Love isn't all hugs and kisses or hallmark cards, love is also the feeling of working together towards a common goal for the goodwill of the whole. 

Love

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Black Love and how it can re-shape the World. - Part 1 - Suffering

As Black people in America, we tend to hold social and cultural facets of other races to a higher regard. This is most prominent in relation to White people. We also obsess on our negative, destructive facets to the point of often falling into damaging self-fulfilling prophecies. This is a result of generations of mental colonization, false programming, and brainwashing by racism.

I was reading the book "Salvation: Black People and Love" by Bell Hooks and she brought up an interesting point. She says "There should be an entire body of work, both serious scholarship and popular material, focusing on Black self-love." 

I found this very interesting and I wanted to expand this idea outside of self-love, to also include community and family love. In the next installment of this post, I'm going to create a small, abridged list of facets of social and cultural life we should celebrate. These facets aren't part of the popular, dominant culture, yet they promote a holistic sense of identity and understanding of the world around us.

For part one of this two part post, I want to write about these facets in light of the Black condition. The truth is that many of these practices exist because we sit at the lowest social strata in this country. We are this way because we suffer. Some see this suffering as an unnecessary obstacle, one that should be shunned, regardless of its output, while others see it in a Biblical paradigm, nurturing our highest, fullest, most God-like self. 

While I agree that we shouldn't have to suffer, I tend to lean more towards the religious, spiritual understanding because I can't simply erase the scars, or ignore the impact generations of suffering has had on me, my family, and my people's existence. What was done has been done. There's no going back. 

I don't necessarily see suffering as a the most extreme, destitute form of disenfranchisement, physical pain or imprisonment. That form of suffering does exist and it can be horrific, but its one of many forms of suffering. In its most rudimentary, yet still spiritually potent form, it can be that nagging feeling that something is wrong that needs to be fixed. Its not something that one looks for either. I try not to walk into suffering or repeat the patterns that cause suffering, that's the action of a psychopath. That's self-destruction. The suffering I'm referring to is the epic internal and external conflict known as "the struggle", that we deal with by being Black. Suffering is a great teacher, whose lessons are applied, preserved and updated.

Picture suffering as a man-made garden. The plot of land that was cleared to tend to this garden is the object of suffering. The land with its original growth now gone is the sufferer. 

One can let that land sit vacant in the hopes that new growth will sprout by itself, which may lead to at best, a renewal of what was there before, or at worst a dead patch of land. This is the suffering that occurs with no follow up. Victims often experience this. We have repeatedly experienced this cruel roll of dice throughout history. 

One may also plant seeds and never tend to it again, creating a growth that may find a way to form an organic symbiotic relationship at best, or a parasitic relationship at the worst. This is akin to shallow advice with no follow ups, ineffective legislation by government authorities, or moral platitudes often eschewed by the Church with no practical means of action to accompany scripture. We to have also suffered in this more complex dice game. 

Another option is continuously preserve, tend to, and update the garden with new cyclical growth by rotating crops, plants and trees, creating a sustainable source of energy and a psychological refuge that promotes a sense of harmony and feng shui. This may create an entirely new ecosystem, or a fruitful source of nourishment for a village, or even the World on a macro level. 

To apply this ecosystem metaphor to the Black experience is to refer to the ongoing social, psychological, and economic work performed at the community level. When we are at our best, we do this with spectacular results. 

What are some of the ways we do this?

Stay tuned to part 2 for more:

 :)

Read this book!

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Beyond the shallow waves

Something happens when a Woman tells a Man the deep spiritual and emotional reasons why she likes him. Were expected as Men to be very surface level utilitarians, with no expectation for profound and intense connections, we're expected to take what we can get because it's "the thing to do". 

Most everyone loves the beach, but beaches are but a small portion of the total amount of coastline space to be found around the world.  My body of water is like a reef or a trench, a short, shallow stretch leading into a steep drop off. You can't just wade and or play in it, but once you explore it, you'll find treasure. 

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Needy and proud of it.

I'm needy and proud of it!!! 

In order for me to be attracted to a Woman to want to have sex or a relationship with her, we have to have chemistry, but that's not enough, we also:

- Have to build a long period of friendship and companionship to where we can't get enough of each other's presence.

- Have to show vulnerability and need. I have to see her vulnerable side and she has to express the need for me, and only me to fulfill something she's missing, I have to feel wanted, and vice versa.

I know needy is a bad word nowadays, but so is impotence. If I'm not able to get aroused because our relationship doesn't satisfy those conditions, what's the use of continuing?

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

We


We are a triumphant people

We are an accomplished people 

We are capable. We are fearless. 

We are Black. We are African.