I'm not for a Militant solution, not just because I stand for peace, because ain't no way in HELL we gonna win in a firefight against trained racist armies and militias, ESPECIALLY not in 2022.....regardless of how many guns are out here, regardless of what people say in entertainment. We can't even come together at public event without some s**t popping off, like that's an admirable quality of a unified movement.
But I will defend myself.
#BlackLivesMatter
Saturday, October 1, 2022
Love has 3 parts to it: affection, trust, respect.
Respect is the foundation of love. One can respect someone and not love them. I differ from the philosophy of "you have to earn my respect". I respect everyone by default. People may take actions to lose respect, but it's always there. For instance, I respect the US justice system, regardless of whether I consider the laws just or not. I respect it because there are legitimate and very real consequences for not adhering to it.
Trust is also default, but its more limited in scope, and it requires going through more doors to unpack. One can trust someone in the small capacity they share, such as in business, one can trust that a colleague will finish their work, but it may not extend past the business paradigm.
Affection, however is the aspect most associated with our modern understanding of love. Affection comes in many forms, romantic affection, affection from a family member, affection from a friend, or just emotional affection overall. I carry emotional affection for everyone by default, that's the essence of empathy, but it's shown and used sparingly. For me to transcend default affection towards someone requires a strong showing and feeling of respect and trust that motivates me to move forward.
Love isn't all hugs and kisses or hallmark cards, love is also the feeling of working together towards a common goal for the goodwill of the whole.
One of the biggest takeaways from the sexual revolution was the focus on Women's empowerment, and Male rehabilitation. A large component of this rehabilitation was concerned with not objectifying Women, and also respecting Womens choices.
What was was missing was a look into a prominent hyper-macho, male virtue that there is value in being able to perform well sexually, and there is value in having many partners, many different examples of sexual experience, or any sexual experience at all.
This pathological, mythical male virtue is so prominent in our culture, it has almost become custom. This custom is found all around the globe, from recorded history to the modern World. Today it's found in many different facets of everyday life, it's found in music, its found in the idolization of the "player" figure, and its one of the key components in the "Alpha Male" philosophy.
Historically and presently, there is no evidence that those who possess or possessed sexual prowess have progressed our civilization foward any more so than those who haven't.
There is also no scientific evidence that those who possess sexual experience and prowess have better mental and physical health than those who don't. There is an exception to this. A potential deterrent to good health from someone with limited or no sexual experience can come from external sources in our culture: from embarrassment, humiliation and feelings of inadequacy, from peers, partners, and often popular media. Are these reasons proof that the problem lies in the lack of experience itself, or the problem is in the reaction to it, from society, from a partner, or even from the inexperienced person themself? Are there people with limited to no sexual experience who see themself as accomplished, confident and "Manly" as those who have it? If so, where is their representation, or the promotion of the virtuous value of their choice in popular culture? We do however, have "the 40 year old virgin", as a comedic punchline strong enough to form the premise of a movie. Why do we find that concept something to laugh at? Why is there a culture of "incels", people who feel they have to aggressively, and often disrespectfully weild their virginity against others?
If we are look at sex as a commodity from a business framework, or as sex as the basis for a formal artistic institution, then experience and performance would be legit. For some people, it's a source of personal pride. In the field of sex work, it's certainly legit. In love however, it means nothing. Love isn't dependent on sexual prowess or experience. Sex is but one thread of pleasure in the endless, infinite fabric of satisfaction that love encompasses.
As Black people in America, we tend to hold social and cultural facets of other races to a higher regard. This is most prominent in relation to White people. We also obsess on our negative, destructive facets to the point of often falling into damaging self-fulfilling prophecies. This is a result of generations of mental colonization, false programming, and brainwashing by racism.
I was reading the book "Salvation: Black People and Love" by Bell Hooks and she brought up an interesting point. She says "There should be an entire body of work, both serious scholarship and popular material, focusing on Black self-love."
I found this very interesting and I wanted to expand this idea outside of self-love, to also include community and family love. In the next installment of this post, I'm going to create a small, abridged list of facets of social and cultural life we should celebrate. These facets aren't part of the popular, dominant culture, yet they promote a holistic sense of identity and understanding of the world around us.
For part one of this two part post, I want to write about these facets in light of the Black condition. The truth is that many of these practices exist because we sit at the lowest social strata in this country. We are this way because we suffer. Some see this suffering as an unnecessary obstacle, one that should be shunned, regardless of its output, while others see it in a Biblical paradigm, nurturing our highest, fullest, most God-like self.
While I agree that we shouldn't have to suffer, I tend to lean more towards the religious, spiritual understanding because I can't simply erase the scars, or ignore the impact generations of suffering has had on me, my family, and my people's existence. What was done has been done. There's no going back.
I don't necessarily see suffering as a the most extreme, destitute form of disenfranchisement, physical pain or imprisonment. That form of suffering does exist and it can be horrific, but its one of many forms of suffering. In its most rudimentary, yet still spiritually potent form, it can be that nagging feeling that something is wrong that needs to be fixed. Its not something that one looks for either. I try not to walk into suffering or repeat the patterns that cause suffering, that's the action of a psychopath. That's self-destruction. The suffering I'm referring to is the epic internal and external conflict known as "the struggle", that we deal with by being Black. Suffering is a great teacher, whose lessons are applied, preserved and updated.
Picture suffering as a man-made garden. The plot of land that was cleared to tend to this garden is the object of suffering. The land with its original growth now gone is the sufferer.
One can let that land sit vacant in the hopes that new growth will sprout by itself, which may lead to at best, a renewal of what was there before, or at worst a dead patch of land. This is the suffering that occurs with no follow up. Victims often experience this. We have repeatedly experienced this cruel roll of dice throughout history.
One may also plant seeds and never tend to it again, creating a growth that may find a way to form an organic symbiotic relationship at best, or a parasitic relationship at the worst. This is akin to shallow advice with no follow ups, ineffective legislation by government authorities, or moral platitudes often eschewed by the Church with no practical means of action to accompany scripture. We to have also suffered in this more complex dice game.
Another option is continuously preserve, tend to, and update the garden with new cyclical growth by rotating crops, plants and trees, creating a sustainable source of energy and a psychological refuge that promotes a sense of harmony and feng shui. This may create an entirely new ecosystem, or a fruitful source of nourishment for a village, or even the World on a macro level.
To apply this ecosystem metaphor to the Black experience is to refer to the ongoing social, psychological, and economic work performed at the community level. When we are at our best, we do this with spectacular results.
Minding ones own business is not only the best morally just action, its the best action for ones own mental health.
Of course there are situations where one has to tend to others, such as when someone has given the express permission to engage in another person's affairs, such as being a supervisor, teacher, parent, guardian, or doctor. There are also situations, especially in the age of social media, where one may have chosen to publicly disseminate portions of their own personal affairs.
Otherwise, someone else's personal affairs should be of no concern to you.
Synyonyms that pyschologically align with minding my own business, and keeping my nose where it belongs...
Success
Joy
Happiness
Peace
Tranquility
Satisfaction
I find when I stray from minding my own business, I become more stressed, less lucid, less able to think on my own, and more prone to error.
I'm just as much a student of Malcolm X as I am MLK. I am a fan of the original Black Panther Party. I'm also a card carrying member of the Hip Hop generation, which has branches extending from the militant arm of the Black Power movement.
I believe nonviolent doesn't refer to being unprepared and defenseless. I draw inspiration from the sense of urgency, duty, and creative expressions of anger from the more militant Black movements, however the militancy isn't the primary guiding factor in my philosophy. I believe that the idea of violent revolution, in its reasoning, steers the mind to the final destination of committing violence against one another. It subtly incentivizes hurting others, keeping that action as an unspoken goal that looms over everything, taking precedence over the actual goal of the revolution itself. This hijacking of the mind can easily lead one to dehumanize whom they seek to commit violence against, and create or obsess over "Us Vs Them" scenarios, even when they don't exist.
I was watching a speech by MLK towards the end of his life and was very inspired by his resolve. This particular speech happened when his popularity dropped significantly, as he became more unpopular with White people for his anti-War position and unpopular with many Black people who began to toss aside his peaceful philosophy of revolution in favor of more militant solutions. In a speech he stated very passionately, "If every negro in the US turns against nonviolence, I'm going to stand up as a lone voice and say this is the wrong way!" He was heckled, and insulted by many who were working towards the same goal of civil rights and Black self-sustainability, but he didn’t back down.
To stand firm in his convictions in the face of that much opposition is courage on a level I cannot possibly understand, but I will try to make sense of his rationale. I think MLK was a prophet that though far beyond his time.
Consider this:
War is a terrible facet of humanity where violence is the primary method of resolution. Veterans who return from wars often have PTSD. War can corrupt and damage your thinking process, it can cause trauma that accumulates and becomes self-destructive if not healed. Even the most clear-headed military leader is showing a level of mental acuity that's only measured in response to a situation of extreme duress. Trauma takes a toll.
How does one build in this paradigm?
How does one fellowship in this paradigm?
How does one innovate in this paradigm?
How does one have the clarity to see opportunities as they arrive in this paradigm?
How does one trust in this paradigm?
In this paradigm, the mind is stuck in fight or flight mode, made even worse in situations where its not called for. This mindset becomes an obstacle to build community, an obstacle to open-mindedness, an obstacle to creativity, free thought is stifled. Lucid, logical thinking can easily become prone to paranoia, obsession, rumors and fallacies. It leaves the mind vulnerable, not at its full capacity, not at its full strength. Its too easy to create conflict and discord where there is none.
In todays America, violent "Us Vs Them" mindsets have created an epidemic of paranoid people convinced that someone is out to get them, convinced to the point they will commit horrific, despicable actions against others with the rationale that there's a war going on, despite any evidence to the contrary.
Yet there are also factual instances of conspiracies and unwarranted aggression against people with no just cause, instances if left unchecked can threaten us all. So how does one deal with this? That's a hard question to answer.
I don't know. I know this, I believe in preparation, planning, de-escalation, protection over escalation and becoming the aggressor.
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr lived by the Biblical decree of "Love thy enemy". I believe this decree doesn't have to be some feel-good quote in which brings up imagery of flowers, hugs and romantic relationships. You can love someone and never have to see them again. You can love someone and angrily let them know how frustrated you are with them, and how you refuse to accept or respect their behavior. You can also love someone and aggressively incapacitate them if the situation calls for it. I think the term "love" has become triggered, because its so overused in our society. There's also respect. IMO, respect is a subordinate to love. You cannot respect what you don't love in some way, even if it isn't love with a capital "L". I think a clear and universally agreed antithesis of love however is dehumanization. Some of the worst violations of the preservation of the sanctity and safety of life, some of the worst atrocities committed come from people who dehumanize others. The path to dehumanization begins with "Us vs them", and that is further extended with the thought of committing violence against one another.
I could attempt to explain the logic behind the statement "violence begets violence", how violence is mostly akin to putting out a fire with grease, and how violence on a large scale in todays era of super-power weaponry could lead to assured mutual destruction, but I'll leave that for another post. I will say this, I believe MLK was a prophet who saw the modern day storm coming, and was well ahead of his time. Some might say his methods are outdated, but I feel they are as relevant as ever. Through his historical example, today, in 2022 and beyond, I choose nonviolence over violent revolution.
"I feel that organized nonviolence resistance is the most powerful weapon that oppressed people can use in breaking loose from the bondage of oppression. Non-cooperation with evil is as much of a moral obligation as cooperation with good" - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
